On April 15, 2023, it happened, I had a bookstore event, and only one person came. I was riding high, having well-attended events, and wondering if it would happen to me. And it did, on my birthday.
But I carried on because I heard the sage advice of authors before me saying, “Give 110% to that one person.” And that’s what I did for Megan, a critique partner I had met three years prior and had lost touch with. So thank you, writing community, for preparing me for that moment. And thank you, Megan, for being my one person.
Me and Megan
Now that I am planning my 2025 events, I wanted to share a few things I learned from that experience.
1. Honor Your Reader
Whether that one reader is the bookseller or guest, they love books! In my case, Megan drove through LA traffic to be there. So the moment I decided the show must go on, which was 5 minutes past my scheduled start time, I presented at 110%.
2. Let Go Of The Shame
I am riddled with negative self-beliefs. When I realized no one else was walking through the door, shame hit me like a truck. “No one cares about me.” “I let down this bookseller.” “Who do I think I am?” The benefit of being the main performer is that you don’t really have time for self-pity. Look at your situation with eyes of self-compassion and self-love. You created a book, very few people get to do that. You had a bookseller invest their time and resources into you. And you have the health and financial freedom to be in this moment. Stuff happens, you’re going to be OK.
3. Find Inspiration In Your Bookseller
If you need inspiration for resilience, just look at your bookshop owner. You might be leaving with a bruised ego, but the stakes are so much higher for your bookseller. They are putting their blood, sweat, and tears into their small business everyday. The book shop owner for my event had recently opened her bookstore. It was gorgeous and filled with so much love. When I expressed how disappointed I was that I didn’t sell her books, she reassured me that she could include them in future school book fairs that she was organizing. (And just a note, Ingram will typically takes returns on the books the seller doesn’t sell.)
4. Join Existing Events
Most bookstores have existing story times. For this bookstore, I had initially scheduled the existing story time. But an incredible author was visiting from NY, and I gave her my time slot. This author had a stronger connection to the local community. It was the right thing to do. I hoped that my local network would pop-in, but you can’t always count on it. So for future events, I have been specifically looking for existing story times. Though I know some authors partner with other creators to draw in a crowd.
5. Don’t Take It Personally
It is very easy to want to place blame when you’re hurt and make mental notes of the friends who never attend your events. But the truth is, it’s not personal. People have their own stuff, their own struggles, and their own limitations, including you. The more you look at what you have, the people who show up for you, again and again, the fuller your heart will feel. When you give grace to others, you learn to give it to yourself. As I did my presentation, to the book shop owner, her son, my husband, my two boys, and Megan, I couldn’t help but feel grateful for what I had. :)
6. Face Your Fears
As I left the bookstore, the shame I had been suppressing came rushing back. The haters were winning. So I decided to face them. On the drive home, I posted a little message on Twitter sharing my experience. Then I put the phone away because it was Ramadan, and I had an Iftar to prepare for. The next time I looked at my phone I couldn’t believe my eyes, there were so many messages of support from the book community. They had dissolved my shame with their love and kindness.
7. Join The Club
As I write this now, my cheeks are burning, because I am reliving the feelings of that day. But I will never look back on it with shame or regret, rather a badge of honor. So many of the Twitter messages were from authors who had the same experience and lived to tell the tale. So join the club, it is a great one.
In Joy,
Natasha
NATASHA KHAN KAZI 